Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Incoming







I once read a book that stated “children come 
through us, howbeit they don’t belong to us.”

As parents, we are watchers and caretakers of children until they are capable of venturing out on their own. As caretakers, we are charged with the responsibility of providing for children’s basic needs, and raising them to be responsible accountable beings; however, it’s not our charge to determine who children will become; we have no "map" or blueprint that provides us with that foresight; children come into the world with their own internal DNA map; parents don’t provide their offspring with a soul or a spirit.

Nevertheless, we can carry out our charge by providing children with a sense of direction via: being an example, endowing them with positive values, morals and spiritual principles to model themselves after; by teaching them to be an independent, responsible, accountable beings.

Children tend to look up to their parents; they observe our behaviour, actions and speech; they develop an attached connection with parents, that's a lifelong continuum.

Infant human offspring are very impressionable; so naturally, parental imprint does impact children as they grow. Children are in a sense, made in our image.

As we observe children's "growth" we see the impression that we fashion upon them. And then, one day -- not unexpectantly, howbeit surprisingly, out of the blue, someone other than whom we moulded emerges; a being with their own thoughts, feelings and identity; along with shadows of residual parental impact.  It's within those moments, that we bear witness to the fact, that we were their "watchers" and caretakers until they came into their own.

It is a fascinating journey to watch children advance into a being that -- yes, we had a hand in moulding, emerge into the being they are coming to know themselves to be.

Offspring continue to ask parents questions and for advice along the road of becoming; however, they desire to be respected and treated as the independent being that parents raised them to be; they desire to be trusted to live up to their parental moulding as they transform into "self-actualized beings."

Taking a moment to reflect back on parent’s parental role in children’s "being and becoming" consider how important the charge of being a caretaker is:  Parents observe children "being and becoming" what we observe, as our children grow, is the product of our endowment's unto them.

Parents are responsible for the development of children's, personality characteristics, until children become of age and initiate their own choices and decisions; therefore, it is imperative and incumbent upon parents to raise a child up in the way he or she should go -- morally and spiritually, so when a child does start to initiate their own choices and decisions, parents can be comforted in knowing that they "served" the charge placed upon them in a manner they can be proud of, and that the Creator of human beings can be pleased with!

It is imperative that all human beings become consciously aware of "how" they are impacting children and turning them out into society. Children's "being and becoming" dose have the initial bearings of parental influence that provides them with their start in life!

I leave you with the following question to consider and a link that provides possible answers!


Question: "What does it mean to train up a child in the way he (s) should go?"




                                       Incoming


Written by Betty Alark

Baby pictures by Vera Kratochville


13 comments:

  1. Dearest Betty,

    I am grateful to the A-Z blogging challenge for introducing me to your wonderful blog. I am deeply moved by this blog-post of yours and need to have a quiet moment to consider the idea that "children come
    through us but they don’t belong to us.” I don't have children myself, but it's a fascinating idea to ruminate on.

    Absolutely love your blog. Waiting for your thought-provoking post on the letter J.

    Cheers!
    ~B

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  2. Thank you so much barnalisaha! Pleased to hear that you are moved by the post!!

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  3. To imprint on a child is indeed a magical thing, if one is aware of the effect they have. I love Dietrich Bonhoffer's assertion that "The morality of a society is determined by the way it treats its children." You have touched on this nicely and I very much enjoyed your post. I'm brand new to blogging and I'm learning a great deal from reading fine blogs like yours. Thank you.

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    1. Well thank you for your compliment and comments! And, I agree with what Dietrich Bonhoffer said!
      So gald you stopped by my blog!

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  4. It is my job to make sure my daughter is kind, thoughtful, passionate, loving, respectful, hardworking, compassionate and honest. If I manage all that, it doesn't matter what she does or who she becomes professionally. I will have prepared her to make a difference in a positive manner. My daughter is exactly like me personality-wise. Very independent and opinionated. As frustrating as it is some days, I love it because I know how I can work with who she is in order for her to be better than me. My goal is to give her the skills so she can successful do whatever it is she wants to do in life.

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  5. You should be very proud of yourself and your daughter!

    Really appreciate your comments, Junebug!

    Thank you!

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  6. I looked through your posts, very well written. This one especially hits home because I have a 12 year old son who is just now desiring more independence. As a parent it's difficult to let go and allow him to start making some of his own decisions. We have to have faith that we helped prepare him to be successful with life in the real world.

    Thanks,
    Dan Miller

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  7. Thank you Dan for viewing my post and for your compliment and comments!

    Twelve is a very crucial age. I remember when my daughter turned 12; it was a turning point in her life and mine. Children do start to change around that age and I can imagine they start even earlier in this day and time.

    That's all we can really do is to train them up in the way they should go and keep them in prayer; after that we do have to let go and let God! Of course we are always there for our offspring when they need us!

    I am thankful to have been blessed with a daughter, shes 32 at present and she turned out well! I do thank God for watching over her and blessing her life!

    Im sure you and your son's mother have done your very best raising your son! May you always be blessed to have direction and all else that you need in raising your son!! God bless your family!!

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  8. Love the title of this post and how it relates to your content. Not being a parent, I can't make an educated comment tho.

    Damyanti @Daily(w)rite
    Co-host, A to Z Challenge 2013

    Twitter: @AprilA2Z
    #atozchallenge
    AZ blogs on Social Media

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    1. Thank you for your honesty and comments Damyanti!

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  9. Thank you for your comments and honestly!

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  10. i agree it is our imperative! parenting well is the least selfish thing you can do...and, you must do it. i teach high school and there are so many times that meeting a parent shows us why a child behaves the way that he/she does. it's a shame really. parents can be so selfish even in wanting what is 'best' for their kids. something to remember as i parent my preschooler into adulthood.

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  11. Really appreciate your comments Stephanie! My hat goes off to you - a high school teacher; that can be a really tough road.

    Blessing to you and your family!

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