Wednesday, April 10, 2013


I once read a book that stated “children come 
through us, but they don’t belong to us.”

As parents, we are watchers and caretakers of children until they are capable of venturing out on their own. As caretakers, we are charged with the responsibility of providing for children’s basic needs, and raising them to be responsible accountable beings; however, it’s not our charge to determine who children will become; we have no "map" or blueprint that provides us with that forsight; children come into the world with their own internal DNA map; parents don’t provide their offspring with a soul or a spirit.

Nevertheless, we can carry out our charge by providing children with a sense of direction via: being an example, endowing them with positive values, morals and spiritual principles to model themselves after; by teaching them to be an independent, responsible, accountable being.

Children tend to look up to their parents; they observe their behavior, actions and speech; they develop an attached connection with parents that is a lifelong continuum.

Infant human offspring are very impressionable; so naturally, parental imprint does impact children as they grow. Children are in a sense, made in our image.

As we observe children's "growth" we see the impression that we fashion upon them. And then, one day -- not un- expectantly, but surprisingly, out of the blue, someone other than whom we molded emerges; a being with their own thoughts, feelings and identity; along with shadows of residual parental impact.  It's within those moments, that we bear witness to the fact, that we were their "watchers" and caretakers until they came into their own.

It is a fascinating journey to watch children advance into a being that -- yes, we had a hand in molding, emerge into the being they are coming to know themselves to be.

Offspring continue to ask parents questions and for advise along the road of becoming; however, they desire to be respected and treated as the independent being that parents raised them to be; they desire to be trusted to live up to their parental molding as they transform into "self actualized beings."

Taking a moment to reflect back on parent’s parental role in children’s "being and becoming" consider how important the charge of being a caretaker is:  Parents observe children "being and becoming" what we observe, as our children grow, is the product of our endowment's unto them.

Parents are responsible for the development of children's, personality characteristics, until children become of age and initiate their own choices and decisions; therefore, it is imperative and incumbent upon parents to raise a child up in the way he or she should go -- morally and spiritually, so when a child does start to initiate their own choices and decisions, parents can be comforted in knowing that they "served" the charge placed upon them in a manner they can be proud of, and that the Creator of human beings can be pleased with!

It is imperative that all human beings become consciously aware of "how" they are impacting children and turning them out into society. Children's "being and becoming" dose have the initial bearings of parental influence that provides them with their start in life!

I leave you with the following question to consider and a link that provides possible answers!

Question: "What does it mean to train up a child in the way he should go?"


Written by Betty Alark

Baby pictures by Vera Kratochville